Dear God, help me to get through all of this mess. Arise O, Lord!! And deliver me from this pit. You have put my feet upon the Rock. You set me in a broad place.

Jesus, lover of my soul, Jesus, I will never let you go;
You've taken me from the miry clay,
You've set my feet upon the rock and now I know.

I love You, I need You,
Though my world will fall, I'll never let You go;
My Savior, my closest Friend,
I will worship You until the very end..
{John Ezzy, Daniel Grul, Stephen McPherson}

I woke up this morning, coz I had a bad dream about Jedi, that he went to see nita, and he never came back. I was full of tears in my dreams, and still full of tears when I woke up.

Cant take it any longer, I sms Jedi and asked him where he was right then. And he told me that he was still in Lombok, but gonna take a plane to Denpasar to stay with Nita, coz she's gonna have her thesis this week. When I asked him when will he be coming back, he didnt say a thing.

My dreams were right, and my feelings were right also.
Is it a gift? or a curse?

I always can tell whether he's sick or in trouble. I can get a taste of what his heart is willing to do, I cant control it. I dont know what to do about it. In every situation where he didnt speak a thing to me, I can tell what's wrong.
He said himself, my feelings is mostly true.

And now he's mad at me, he didnt reply any of my sms. Cant really blame him.

Andy was also the same. I told him bout my pain, and he suggest me a thing or two. Then in the end, he stated this ssentence that shocked me. He had a girlfriend. I wonder why he never told me about it. I hate guys!! They only flattered girls to smashed them down!!

How can you possibly trust men??
They only KISSED THE GIRLS AND MADE THEM CRY!!!

I gave up my bracelet, the one that Jedi gave me, at Petrus Agung's sermon. God told us to gave up the things that we mostly love, to Him. And I gave it up. It's painful, it's deep.. And i gave it up.

Praise be to God in every situation I have. Praise be to God..

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of The Most High,
shall abide under the shadow of The Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress
: my God; in him will I trust'."

{Psalm 91:1}